Addicted to sugar, I would hide in a closet and eat the entire huge bag of cookies my mom sent me
that was supposed to be for ALL my college roommates. One summer I ate an entire loaf of Italian wheat bread dipped in vinegar and a can of Campbell’s soup everyday. Sitting in my car after going into the grocery store to buy a quart of frozen yogurt, I would eat the entire thing. If there was cheese in the fridge, I would eat all of it. Like over a pound of it. I have drank over 12 diet cokes in one day and that wasn’t a rare occurrence. Often times I would keep eating until all the food was gone even though I was full 25 spoonfuls ago. I weighed myself over five times a day either rewarding myself or punishing myself based on what it said.
I ate whatever and as much as I thought I wanted because I’m lucky enough to be born in a place with an abundance of food that I can afford. I watched a documentary with extremely sick and obese people and one man said something like, “I know I’m sick, but who cares as long as I can eat a huge steak with a loaded potato, large coke and dessert everyday.”
Something struck me when I heard him say that. I realized how selfish I was eating the way I was eating because it was leading me towards a life of living with disease and sicknesses meaning that someone would have to take care of me and it would be my fault.
I was young and I couldn’t make it thru the day without having to take a nap. Heartburn and indigestion were my normal. Debilitating stomach cramps that brought me to tears were something I lived with. My seasonal allergies were off the hook. My IBS kept me from going out. My joints ached like I was a 90 year old woman. I had chronic sinus infections and always caught everything that anyone around me had.
After being told I was going to have to have surgery for my chronic sinus infections, I questioned whether diet had anything to do with it. My doctor said it didn’t. I asked him to give me 30 days and if nothing changed I would go along with the surgery. That was 17 years ago and I didn’t have surgery and haven’t had a sinus infection since.
That was when I realized that food can be thy poison and can also be thy medicine. I decided to get off the white stuff (sugar) and it wasn’t easy. It was like my mom’s cookies were taunting me and social gatherings where dessert was served were torture. Like I would sweat and then cry because I wanted to eat all the sweet chocolate so bad.
Something that was holding me back was the lack of sweetness I had in my life. Every time I dreamed of a bag of Swedish Fish, I did something that brought sweetness into my life instead. And then one day, I lost my desire for the sweet treats. No way would I have believed you when I was face deep in a bag of cookies. The same thing happened with dairy. If you told me 8 months ago that I could go to a party with an epic Vermont cheese plate and not even be tempted to have even a little taste I would tell you that you were crazy pants. I also haven’t weighed myself in years. I close my eyes at the doctors so I don’t see the number that I now know means nothing.
I don’t feel deprived. Actually I feel the opposite. I eat delicious, nourishing foods that leave me feeling awesome and satisfied. To me that’s true freedom.
If you’re struggling with this, I feel you. I’ve been there. You’re not alone. Reach out. Leave a comment. Send me a message HERE. I’m here to talk.
P.S. I’ve been a busy little bee creating a new 4 week coaching program for the live music fan’s mind, body and spirit. If this post struck a cord with you, then you’ll love this program. Stay tuned!!!!